 |
 |
||
 
Choosing the Right Away Message  OffTarget Auction  WWJD???  Updated 2/2/05 A little advice column for everyone. Movies Based On Disney World Rides
Sea-Monkey Care Guide
Nature's Symphony of Relaxing Relaxation for Sleeping Relaxed
Consultant Prank Call Here's something a little different- A friend of mine decided to prank call one of the new trainee consultants at work. Every hour we receive a call to do a headcount of all the people in the lab. We just give the number and hang up; it usually takes about 10 seconds. He makes it a little more complicated for this girl... Avoiding bad TheFaceBook pics!
Road Test- TO THE EXTREME!!! A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-Type Story by Josh Isaacson I handed this in as my final for creative writing... somehow I got an "A" in the class. Well, I guess it is pretty creative. I figured I'd put it on the site, but I wanted to add a little something... so I gave my nephews some markers and let them illustrate it. Check out the result. "Creative Writing" This is a story I wrote for my creative writing class my sophmore year entitled "Creative Writing". It's about a boy who has to critique a poem for his creative writing class- but he has no clue what to say about it and gets screwed. Download it here! Looking for a job? Then you'll need a good resume! Feel free to use mine as a model- My Resume Spring Break '05... AT JOSH'S!!! Read about my EXTREME Spring Break here! Homestar Runner Sheet Music! Sheet music of the Homestar Runner theme song I made using Finale 2004. If you're a piano person or a homestar fan (or both), check it out. PAGE ONE PAGE TWO Superhero Toys For Christmas, my nephew got a new toy... a Spiderman car. A Spiderman car? Think about that for a second- it doesn't make any sense. Why the hell would spiderman want a car... the guy can web-sling! He doesn't need to sit around in a bright, flashy car with his logo all over it! So, this inspired me to make my own line of superhero toys... FASTER THAN A SPEEDING FEATHER!!! The Superman PARACHUTE! INCONVENIENT- TO THE EXTREME!!! The FLASHMOBILE! The Hulk EUROPEAN COMPACT ACTION-BAG! (with leather interior!) A warning to motorists in Tokyo "When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootie the horn. Trumpet at him melodiously at first but if he still obstacle your passage tootie him with vigor." My College Essay hi. im bettar tehn hte ohter pplicatns. In this essay that I am writing right now I will tell you about my positive character traits that will make you want to accept me. I fence sometimes. Mosquitos scare me LOL! I also have trouble peeing when people are around so I hope you aren't too crowded! Thnx bye!!!111 Midis These are some midis I made in the past few years. Midis are sound files made using a keyboard or a synthesizer... People used to use these for ringtones back in the day. Dangeresque Theme Song "Daneresque 2- This time, it's not Dangeresque 1"- Homestar Runner song from http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail80.html -Created using Finale 2004. The Cheat Is Not Dead "The Cheat Is Not Dead"- another song from homestarrunner.com! Never heard it? Watch this. -Created using Finale 2004. Teen Girl Squad The Teen Girl Squad theme song! Don't know what the hell I'm talking about? Go here. -Created using Finale 2003. ATC- Around the World I'm sure most of you people know this song. This one took me around 12 hours to make... it's a near perfect copy of the original. I have no idea why I picked this song to be honest... it was just easy for me to hear the notes I guess. -Created from scratch using Finale 2002. FF7- Interrupted by Fireworks A song from the Final Fantasy series. My first midi! -Recorded using my keyboard and some crappy free software I found online. Here are some midis I made that are meant to be used as cellphone ringers. You can still listen to them as normal midis though, if you don't have anything to download these to your cellphone. I especially like the Awexome Cross midi. Awexome Cross 98!!! From here. The Cheat Is Not Dead (ringtone version) From here. Teen Girl Squad (ringtone version) From here. My road test- I get to the road test site about 20 minutes early, but there's still a line of cars going around the block anyway. The examiners aren't even there yet. At about 1:00, I see a bunch of people in DMV uniforms walk around the corner. They look angry, bitter, like they hate being there. They really look like jerks. Me and my dad got stuck in the one part of the line where there's no shade, and these idiots in front of us wouldn't move up. So I'm just sitting there, under the hot, burning sun... then this big, old, scary intimidating DMV guy comes up to our car. I guess he was the supervisor cuz he looked like the biggest asshole there. I mean, he looked like if you said the wrong thing to him, he would spit in your face or something. He asks for my permit and 5-hour certificate. I give him those, he goes away. A few minutes later, I'm taking the test with some angry lady. I pass. She says "Now, you know you can't drive with this license until you're 18." I'm very confused because I could have sworn that if you take driver's ed and pass a road test, you get a license if you're 17. So my dad's driving me home, I'm telling him about this, then I notice the temporary license she gave me says DJ on it. I was supposed to get a D license. A DJ license is exactly the same as a permit. In other words, you can do absolutely nothing with it. In fact, if I had a purple crayon and a piece of paper, I could make my own DJ License! It's just as useful as the real thing! So we decide to go back and ask what the hell is going on. We find the head-asshole, and ask him why I don't have a normal license if I passed driver's ed. He goes "Oh you had to give me your course completion certificate." I'm like ok here it is. Then he tells us to talk to the person who give me my road test and ask if they can fix it. All this guy told me to give him was my 5-hour certificate, and permit. How many times has he done this? Shouldn't he know by now to ask if I've completed driver's ed? What an asshole. SoOoOo bitch-lady finishes testing someone else, I tell her that I need a normal D-class license because I finished driver's ed. I show her my certificate. She says "oh well you should have showed me that before! I'm like "You should have ASKED FOR IT BITCH! YOU CAN'T TAKE THIRTY SECONDS OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SCHEDULE TO PRINT ME OUT A NORMAL LICENSE ON YOUR FUCKING PALM PILOT!?" And she's like "Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave the test site" and I'm like "I'm going to have to ask YOU to shut up!" and I kicked her in the face. Then the head-asshole comes over and he's all like hey you can't do that! So I gave him a papercut with my piece-of-crap-useless DJ license, and he started bleeding all over. He ran away all like "Oh noOoOo I'm bleeding boo-hooo"... Ok so that last paragraph didn't happen. I'm going to have to wait for my picture license to come in the mail (about 2-3 weeks probably), and bring it back to the DMV (Department of Motherfucking Vaginas) with my certificate so they can change it to a normal license. I mean, there's noOoOo freaking way bitch-lady can just print me out a normal license. Man I hate the DMV. |
|||
 |
 |
||
 |
|
|
|
